About life=") Friends and loved ones.♥

.Thursday, April 19, 2007 ♥

Personal Space

At times how I just wished that I could have the same amount of space as I used to have before taking up this commitment. I guess at times how I wished I can just do my own things by myself, Just time alone or with my loved ones(friends and family). I mean just at times. I know you love me alot, as much as my friends or maybe even more than them. I just keep thinking that your degree of love you have for me has came to this point because of whatever that has happened. Love blossoms, I know(We all need time to love that someone, not just as lovers but as friends as well. Right?) but this is like the extreme case of such a situation. I'm really feeling more and more like the above described especially when I'm thinking about what had happened. I know I cannot just give everything up just like that; it is a responsibility, a cause and a relationship(mind you). Maybe I might just need a break or something like that. Sometimes I mean sometimes I just wished that you could treat me like how my friends and my dad treats me. I don't think you know how as it is not either your forte or your characteristics. They would just allow me to do whatever I want(even though they know it's not advicesable) but they are there for me at the end of the day when I fall. My friends and I have not met up as frequently as used to, I'm making the effort now guys. I love you all, every single on of you. They again allowed me to drift away but when I went back to them, they welcomed me back with arms wide open. This really reminds me of a parable in the bible(The prodical son in the books of matthew). I have to say that I really appreciate everything everyone of you has done for me. I Sam Teo will always remember for as long as I live(I have quite a good memory.Lol).

Cheers xD @ 12:33 AM

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Thinking back

Looking at how things have went, I guess I was just too frustrated to even think. I had almost screwed someone for things he had done which had affected me directly(I won't blame someone for affecting me indirectly), luckily I didn't(I guess that's not something he deserved). It is very true that the person had affected me but I did not look at the bigger picture, who had caused this to happen? I shouldn't have really blamed that someone as it is not entirely his fault. I did not do that just to protect the person I love but rather I was just really furious by the things that had happened, to the extend that I couldn't really have a clear mind. I did blamed that loved one of mine as I sincerly believed that it takes both hands to clap. I had a serious talk with her over this, we have reached an understanding between the both of us. Everything is over already, I've moved on with it. What's over is over, what has been done has been done, so be it.

Cheers xD @ 12:03 AM

.Wednesday, April 18, 2007 ♥

As Promised

As promised, I will publish this post on my blog. I have talked to Kenny last week, we spoke on the phone for almost 3 hours. We had actually cleared the air with regards to any misunderstanding/s. I don't blame him for his actions or for whatever he has done to me, I guess the main culprit has to be the one and only(I bet you know who). It is because of her, a small problem had escalated into one with full of confusion, deceit, deception and anger. I'm not venting my frustrations on you through this blog, I guess I had already told you that personally. I don't blame you entirely, it is not something you have anticipated or planned but rather it has to do with the way you handled this issue. I hope you can learn from this. I have to say that I was frustrated by what had happened(My previous post). But now after understanding what had happened, why it happened and how it happened, I guess I have chose to look at it in a different point of view, I'm now looking at the root of the problem(The way she dealt with this situation).

Overall I have to say that I have cooled down after this whole saga, who wouldn't? It is a matter of time. I'm really glad to have spoken to kenny(We cleared the air). Dear culprit, I sincerly hope you'll learn a thing or two from this whole incident. I also hope that in future, you'll know how to handle things better.

Cheers xD @ 11:37 PM

.Sunday, April 1, 2007 ♥

SouthPark

I'm fucking pissed with you kenny(Hope you read this blog). Please convey the message I have for him, I bet my last dollar you don't want me to do it myself. On friday(29th March), I was supposed to meet Dino and Greon at Kranji at 6.20pm. Thanks to you I was fucking late, I went to meet Dino at chao chu kang at about 6.40pm first before proceeding to Kranji to meet Greon. We were there at about 7.40pm. I had missed the fucking first two races at the turfclub, that could have made me a handsome pile. Thank God I didn't miss the third. You wanted to meet Jin but just because she was late, you refused to talk to her. Who you think you are? A big shot? or a dua pai? Your incorrigible and petty action caused her to walk away from you. She had to trouble me by massaging me and calling me, telling me about what had happend but I don't blame her, you caused her to be in that state. This caused me to be late for the race. A saying goes; find the root of the problem and kill it, only then your problem is solved. You are the root of the problem. After she walked off, you got the cheek to find her up and meet her at clarke quay. You are there happily eating your dinner away while I on the other hand was frustrated for missing the two races. Your actions are contradicting; you refused to talk but after she walked away, you went to look for her(LOL, Where is the face man, ain't you ashamed?). And today, on the 1st of april your actions caused me to wait for Jin at Seah Imm for an hr. You looked up for her at work, she had to entertain you and because of that her ging-gang had to wait for her as well. Seriously are you ashamed of yourself? I mean seriously. I don't care what had happened between the both of you or what is going to happend but please don't bother and irritate me like you have. (The above mentioned) I have thought alot, this may even reflect on your upbringing. Maybe your parents were not good enough in parenting because they had failed to educate you on the values of thinking for others. The above mentioned are examples of you not sparing a thought for others. Maybe you are thinking I'm a mad person blogging this just to vent my frustrations or how have I intruded your tranquility. If you have such thinkings, it is either you are blind, you are illiterate or you have just proved my point. If you have further queries, please feel free to drop me an E-Mail. We can meet up, talk about this over a cup of coffee. Thanks for your precious time kenny. God bless you, take care.

Cheers xD @ 11:17 AM

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Haiz

After all that has happend, I've moved on and I'm trying not to let whatever that has happened affect me and I guess it didn't. The trust, care and love I have for you is coming back. You have proved yourself. Haiz, we should always take things in our stride and not dwell on it for too long. You know that I have not treated you like this before, I hope you'll understand that it was me being frustrated and thus this happened. Things will get better though.

Cheers xD @ 11:06 AM

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Nearly worn a green hat. Thank God I trusted my 6th sense

I guess after whatever that has happened, I don’t think I can trust, care and love you like I used to. I am absolutely disappointed by your actions. When a vase is cracked, no matter how you mend it, the cracks will still surface. I feel like an absolute fool when the incident happened, I don’t bloody understand what were you thinking when you carried out your actions. What went through your mind, what were your thoughts and what or how you felt? I have no idea about any of those above. You refuse to talk about it whenever I asked for clarifications, this is not going to help but who cares I mean you asked me to promise you never to rack up the past. I have not put in the same amount of effort as I used to anymore, maybe not at this point of time. Time will heal all wounds, forgive and forget, and maybe even not to get caught in the past but honestly how many of you really believe in that? We can forgive and we can move on but how many of us can forget? Not at least for me though. I will always remember what had happened, not because I’m petty or resentful but rather because I like to think about things thoroughly. I just don’t understand this; if you were willing to let me go or at least your actions says so, why bother keeping me now when I wanted to leave? Or is it just that you want the better of both worlds? When you know I wanted to leave real bad, you wouldn’t, you loved me too much? Why all this happened then in the first place. The most frustrating thing is that you can still question the things I do, the things I say and question my prerogative about this whole saga. The best part of all is that I can get emotionally blackmailed, what the hell went really wrong? You were scary; I swear you scared the living hell out of me when we spoke. Where was the lovely person I once knew, where was the bubbly person I once loved? You have changed a lot during this period of time for me but do you think that’s what I really want? Nowadays you keep a lot of comments or suggestions to yourself and you refuse to vent your frustrations at me, that’s really wonderful, I love it. I don’t know if you are afraid because I might rack up the past or you have changed to be submissive to me? But whatever the case is, just don’t repress every dam thing inside, that’s not what I want. You jolly well know that there’s still that little care, love and trust always waiting for you to fall back on. I’m still willing to try, I have forgiven you because everyone makes mistakes but remember this is not a reason or an excuse for you to continue your mistake. Am amendment has to be made and I’m patiently waiting for that to happen.

Cheers xD @ 11:03 AM

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G.Q

Dear Gerard Quek,

You have been away for quite some time already. I really appreciate the call I received from you in US the other day. Alot of things have actually happened and you missed SP's birthday. I don't think I have any time left from my holidays to spend with you, but we still have to catch up soon. Lastly, I really hope you are enjoying and will still enjoy your reamaining time from your vacation there. I will organise the soccer match as specifically instructed by you. Remember one thing; Enjoy yourself while you settle your agenda, don't be confused. Your God-sister working in fresh imp at heeren will be proud of you. Take care

From: Paulnet
(Pauline and Janet)

Cheers xD @ 10:13 AM